www.worldwidespam.com

My Gmail account used to be squeaky clean. All I had were good ol' mails from friends who still value correspondence the non-msn way. There were no mails telling me that there's another promotion at this market that I visit frequently, no IMPORTANT stamps on the front of messages which contain quite expensive information i.e. Plane ticket/ rail ticket, CREDIT CARD info... 

and then there's SPAM. 

The type which really ticks me off (that would be that last one from the list if you're being daft) comes EVERY SINGLE DAY. I don't remember giving out mails to unsafe sites or organizations... but obviously I was wrong. Somewhere along the line, between the single-recipient correspondence 4 years back to the "n-th" time I emptied that SPAM box yesterday, my email address must've passed hands and ended up at one of the dreaded SPAM headquarters. I can picture it now.. 

The "Leeds Spam Headquarters" in bold, hovering effortlessly overhead thanks to the virtual power of cyberspace; behold, the entrance to all your troubles (spam-wise). If there were a root of all evil (besides money and possibly the odd devil), it's probably planted firmly somewhere in this vicinity. Upon stepping foot in it, an arm swoops down to your face, asking incessantly for your mailing address. If you manage to make it to the receptionist without compromising your spam-free inboxes, consider yourself lucky. Or else, don't be surprised to be inundated with junkmail the next day; these people are quite the efficient type.

OH but the tour is not over yet! At the desk, there'd probably be a list of pings to connect you to the regional head office of your favourite virus, spyware and adware suppliers. If your walk into the manufacturing rooms, you would find out that production goes on inexplicably. Spam flying off in every direction.. the never-ending flow of SPAM out the pigeon holes to their doomed recipients. 

BURN IT DOWN! Burn the whole friggin cyber lot down!!!!

WHat? I don't care if fire doesn't work in cyberspace! Just destroy it!

Unfortunately, it is not that simple. In case anyone's wondering, the foregone conclusion is that we will have to live with SPAM for the rest of our lives. 

Unless of course, one takes the precautionary measure to protect one's mail account from everyone by keeping it to oneself. 

HHmm, I wonder what's the flaw in this line of thought.

(Hint: what's the purpose of having an email account again?)