Movies Galore

Listening to some old school hip hop music after a dose of 1994 from the movie 'The Wackness' which stars Josh Peck (from Nickelodeon's Drake & Josh) as Luke. Not a big fan of the Drake n Josh show, but I do have to admit that the acting was just spot on; they hit the right emotions with just the right intensity. 

(Spoiler this point onwards)

Personally, I like the way Mr Director here ended: very realistic, no cheesy cliched 'happily ever after shit. Giving it a slow start doesn't usually mean bad news as in this case, where we were given ample time to warm up to Josh, i mean Luke. (Can't seem to shake Josh out of his skin :P)

Even attempts at cheesiness came out cool, especially the last part where he says: "Don't say nothin' K? Just stand there til' I leave. 

"I want to remember this... I've never done it before."

Steph: "Never done what?"

*pause*

"Had my heart broken." -and walks into the lift, leaving her standing there.

(Now, WHY can't all breakups be like that.)

Then there's the ache that pulls at your heartstrings, reminding you of YOUR struggles getting over innocence and everything else that pertains to it.

That said, some parts are kinda fake... like how this guy does business by pushing a cart filled with weed disguised as an ice-cream man without getting caught by the cops. Or like how his psychiatrist offers him service whist being paid with a little pack of green (and by that, I don't mean money). If you're able to shrug that off, I'm sure the embrace of the film on the culture that is the early 90s can give you a slight (even to the point of being unnoticeable) sense of nostalgia... when you buy cassettes instead of cds, and people actually used Walk-mans which were replaced by Disc-mans, which were in turn replaced by the now ubiquitous MP3 players. 

Themes like love, friendship, courage takes some of the dark shadows off the film.

Set against the peak period of graffiti and tattoo-ism among other things, the movie also emphasises on a pseudo cultural/musical revolution which brought forth a light and fun genre with that unique touch of youth- Hip Hop. Elements of the music phenomenon that is hip hop and rap can be felt in so many parts of the movie through the soundtrack. For instance,the movie's audio list (re)introduces the likes of a certain "Fresh Prince" a.k.n.a (also known NOW as) t.o.a.o. (the one and only) Will Smith.

Lovable movie. 

Very.

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Watching The Wackness was the first step in an attempt to strike out 48 movies that I have to watch within 2009 to catch up on all I've missed during the 2007-2008 Hollywood roll of movies. You see, I've taken a list of movies that I need to watch from 07 and 08 thru "top 50 movies of the year" websites (idea inspired by Jeremy, who's trying to get movies from 2008).

Hmm, just thinking of the never-ending stream of movies from Hollywood and the rest of the world that will continue throughout your life gives you that "Don't you just love Hollywood" kind of feel.
Then again, you remember all the lousy pieces of crap you have to endure. Think Norbit.

Yeap, there's aaalways a flip side to things.

check, check, 1 2 3.

Having been particularly lazy this semester break, I have failed to knock this fact into my brain: I have yet to sit for my exams which are in January!

As things stand, I'm well on track to waste all my efforts to get here, chuck my parents' hard-earned money into the bin and drag myself through the rest of my life as the wandering garbage man (no offence garbagemen... I respect your profession even MORE than that scumbag who accused me of being rude by being rude himself). As I was saying, all signs point to the self-destruction and demise of my education career. 

That is... if I don't ring the alarm bells.

What makes me "tick", as Sylar would say, is the usual competition and that undiluted need to prove myself to well, myself! So as long as the bells start striking a mild sense of panic into the core, everything will start falling into place as the push for excellence resumes. One might argue that to achieve the level of excellence parallel to that of any individual in the upper echelons of society, a person should not only possess fortitude that will allow him/her to adapt to changes, but also be able to use time management as a tool against his/her fellow adversaries. 

True, yet no one tells us how to do so... Is it even possible to alter the way an individual goes about ones daily life? If it is, I'm pretty sure that his character will go with him. Perhaps, that is the sacrifice that we all have to make.. a choice that is inevitable for each of us. Take "swapping my messy room for an organized lifestyle" as an example. Seems to be all good on paper eh? What about when it's "Giving away the way a part that defines who I am to give in to the way other people want me to live", hmm, you start to think twice. OK, maybe I'm being stubborn and naive... but changing isn't as easy as it sounds.

It always seems to me as if the whole improvement thing is just someone's machination to strip me of my own identity.

Anywho, I've come to the conclusion that I should not shun advice and abhor criticisms, but instead, accept them gracefully (as I sometimes, but not always do). To do so, I have to start thinking of reshaping the whole cycle of "how-things-work" in the Quiwan encyclopedia to adapt to a lifestyle that is fit for a responsible high-achiever. 

Not raising hopes too high here.. Unintentionally, I realized just 10 seconds ago that this would be more than suitable for a new list of 2009 resolutions. I admit that although I do sometimes sketch up a draft of new year resolutions list in the past, never have I actually pushed it through to the point of acknowledging that they are more than a negligible set of sign posts. Notice that they weren't even guidelines but signs telling me of the "right" directions. This time around though, I have decided to list a proper list and look to them as guidelines (or even more?).

On the pending list now would be things pertaining to:

• Blog posts- more frequent, less moody
• Workload- deal with it before it's too late
• Friends- more effort to have fun with friends of all categories and less time dwelling on grievances

Just a few things I have to look into.

Now, did I mention that I've been sleeping at 4 and waking up at 1pm this week. It's the weather. I blame winter for making me sleep 9 hours per day for the past 5 days. The downside of getting loads of sleep and waking up at 1 is that I don't really have much time to see the beautiful yellow orb, the source of all energy (unless you are too ultra-religious). I believe that if we get more exposure to the sun, the more energy bonus you receive. It'd kinda be like Ultraman, wouldn't it? For those who are scratching their heads, Ultraman is the superhero with that funny fin-like thing on his head, who flies to close to the sun to absorb energy when he's almost defeated and all "DEE-doo-DEE-doo-DEE-doo"-ish (sound coming from the light in the middle of his chest). 

Of kirks, bens and lochs.

The pouring rain is reduced to a drizzle, and then it is no more. Before long, first rays of bright orange sunlight etches its way across the sky, framed on the edges by a number of snow-capped mountains. Fields of highland shrubs and the sheep that dot the countryside simply presents us with a wondrous spectacle of peace and beauty which far surpasses any human-made wonder or "art". This, my friends, is the Scottish highlands.

* Not very good pictures, but I assure you that a camera can only give you that much even if you're a professional.*

It overwhelms you. It consumes your emotions, and for that fraction of a second, transports you into the world that is worry-free and tranquil. 

Over the bedrocks, cutting through the shrub land towards its imminent destiny, is the steady flow of a rivulet. All streams are alike, they gush towards the end of their life following the path that's already carved out for them. Only once in awhile, you get a hard-headed flow, encouraged by factors of nature that pushes its way past convention and creates a path of its own.

Kinda reminds us of ourselves eh? How we allow the crowd to set the standards of normality for us. Just the other day, my housemate reminded me of how detached I was from the anime slash gaming world when I couldn't recognise characters from final fantasy100 :P. I don't have the vaguest idea about final fantasy and all the big-boobed chicks and kung fu-smashing moves of the anime/gaming world. All I know about it is that I've added (and temporarily deleted) some of their theme songs to my repertoire... but that was a long way back. All I'm trying to say here is that one should not judge a person and gape at him as if he's just lost an eyeball *wink* merely based on his ken in anime and games. (I'm not judging when I see that you don't know anything about politics.)

Winding it back to the trip...

Last week, my friends (Mr.M and wz) and I took the train up to Edinburgh. We met up with Yuan Dong (my primary school classmate) who was to be our tour guide for the day. It was kinda awkward for me as he just finished his exams that same morning, so yeah, it was a really nice thing that he did for us. :) 

Oh yeah, there's the small matter of missing TWO trains- I swear, we were a hair's breadth away from boarding them, as in we practically looked on helplessly as the doors closed before us. Refusing to dwell on that, I prefer to beat myself into (finally) comprehending the meaning of punctuality as the Brits do.

Other details:

• I sampled a traditional Scottish delicacy that's called "haggis" which reminded me of "Niu nan mien" or "Cow innards noodles" (sounds better in mandarin, seriously).
  
• Took a tour that brought us to the countryside the next day.
  
• Boat ride on Loch Lomond where we spotted a nudist colony. Nothing to get excited about... no one was out in the open, mainly due to the weather i guess.
• Visited the Stirling Castle which oversees the plains and hills where vital battles were once fought (for the Independence of Scotland, for Englands supremacy, for power and glory and all that nonsense that drive us to war).
• Had a traditional Christmas dinner.. for lunch
• Found out how the Scots are immensely proud of their Kilts (Wz n Mr.M were calling it "skirts" til our guide warned them of that infamous "Scottish greeting" if they continue the taunt(albeit unintentional).

Final note: Don't be an idiot to only realize when you're checking out of the hostel that they have a lounge with TV, computers, books and comfy sofas.

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Beautiful song that tells the story of a prisoner- who's been sentenced to death- telling another of his plight. Our guide to the countryside played this song for us on the minivan.. and it just got me into the scottish spirit (if there's ever such a thing)

Loch Lomond

By yon bonnie banks and by yon bonnie braes,
Where the sun shines bright on Loch Lomond
Where me and my true love were ever wont to gae,
On the bonnie, bonnie banks o’ Loch Lomond.

O ye’ll tak’ the high road and I’ll tak’ the low road,
And I’ll be in Scotland afore ye.
But me and my true love will never meet again,
On the bonnie, bonnie banks o’ Loch Lomond.

‘Twas there that we parted in yon shady glen, 
On the steep, steep side o’ Ben Lomond. 
Where in deep purple hue, the hieland hills we view, 
And the moon comin’ out in the gloamin’.

The wee birdies sing and the wild flowers spring,
And in sunshine the waters are sleeping:
But the broken heart, it kens nae second spring again,
Tho’ the waefu’ may cease from their greeting.

*loch- lake

ben- mountain

kirk- church

Ye- you (pronounced "yii" :P)

-Next stop, GREECE! :D-

Manchester Trip with Massoc

Manchester Trip Pictures. 

We didn't stay for the night, but it was definitely worthwhile.

A bunch of Malaysians in Manchester (From left: Carl, Neil, Adam)

I sense something fishy about that sign...

Steven, all smiles in front of an "entertainment center". :P

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No words could describe the rush of emotions when I stepped out of the tunnel and into the stands of Old Trafford. 

I observed that Mr M (who was right beside me) was lost for words too; all he could say then was "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god..."

One of the few photos I managed to take inside the stadium before the dreadful battery-dying occurred.

Unfortunately, my battery died 20 minutes into the tour.

Lol..

So photos below are all courtesy of Mr.A.H.

This is how a BUM blogs

Visited Old Trafford yesterday. (photos to come...)

All I can think of now is the COLD!! 

Apparently, it snowed...

I missed it!

BRAAGHHH

*breathe*

I'll catch it some other time.

There's work to be done now before I leave for London on the 6th.

And yet, here I was last night, whiling away time watching TV series.

Yes, it was pleasant and relaxing and addictive.

Then there's the gush of guilt when you notice that pile of unfinished work.

Options:

- Going cold turkey is definitely not a choice I would make, but I think I might have to do that in the very near future.

- Start sleeping less and allocate the hours saved to work.

- Shut the troubles away and continue browsing Malaysiakini, themalaysianinsider, facebook chedet.com, blog.limkitsiang, youtube.... et cetera.

The struggle continues...

Rant- Individuality and its doubts

It's meant to be a secret. Emotions cannot be summed up in a few words. 

We are what the world want us to be, no?

We are what the society intends to shape, because if you're not, you do not have the privilege to fall into the "normal" category. And believe me, you DO want to fall into that category what with all their perks. That should have been the foundation on which I was raised upon. Not the shiny sugar-coated frame of "live life to its fullest"; not the overflow of smiley-faced emoticons from msn; and certainly not that impossible slow motion scene that is accompanied with cheesy background music.

THOSE, were the bricks that make up the illusion which led me into a false reality. And maybe it worked out well in promoting values and vital stabilizers in the life I live today. 

Maybe it succeeded in weaving it's magic, helping me through the slightly turbulent ride before.

The way pillars of society today are structured points to the indirect formation of a list of personalities and stereotypes. Despite all the ongoing hype about individual freedom, the unknowing public are unconsciously accepting this feed as the way of life. That much is evident. Not like a bright torch on a stormy night, but a dim flicker of a firefly on the soon-to-be non-existent api-api colony in Sg Selangor.

The message I'm trying my best not to say directly here is this: Normality is defined.

As much as that is a mundane statement to the rest of the normal people in the world, I identify it as an immense pressure source. Though only for brief periods on very bad days, I feel that understanding yourself is overrated... Overrated because it exposes how unexpectedly useless you are. How you are so deep in disadvantage when you don't possess the individual specialty, particularly in a world where people thrive through specific or multiple personal excellence. In sports, in sociability, in technology, and heck, even in being thrifty. You're either the person who's good in this and that, or a person with the superficial outlook. 

What if you're neither? Out of the 6.7 billion human beings in the world today, how do we rise to be the best in something?? I know you're supposed to work hard, possess the IQ, obtain the fingertip knowhow through experience and pray for that odd divine intervention/luck (whichever way you see it) to take place. 

HHmmm. 

Then what? You become the best just like that?

At some point in our lives, we expect ourselves to be suited for greatness, to be heroes in a family, then a company, then the nation. That said, what are the actual odds of achieving that?

The fact is... there are so many pitfalls in our life's journey that merely thinking of them make me sick sometimes. 

What if we find out if that you don't possess the will to do things the way your ancestors did. What if, along the way, you lose the factor that has carried you all the way to that point.

What if you just aren't lady luck's favourite boy/girl?

A normal person shouldn't feel puny in a room with mature people discussing and joking about fringe issues that concerns the society of today (i.e. school crushes and chinese education). 

The normal person does not have to cope with that constant fear of committing a faux pas every time he involves himself in a conversation.

Once the flood of doubt comes, you think to yourself that it's just temporary... and when it starts to linger, you begin to wonder.. if all this insecurity will ever end. When your eyes portray the world as this horrible and unbearable place, all we need is that firefly to tell us that everything will be OK. All you need is a bond with another person who will cater to your emotional dependencies. When you have that person or that group of persons, everything will supposedly be fine, but then again, this could be yet another one of those fancy cliches society has imposed upon us.

www.worldwidespam.com

My Gmail account used to be squeaky clean. All I had were good ol' mails from friends who still value correspondence the non-msn way. There were no mails telling me that there's another promotion at this market that I visit frequently, no IMPORTANT stamps on the front of messages which contain quite expensive information i.e. Plane ticket/ rail ticket, CREDIT CARD info... 

and then there's SPAM. 

The type which really ticks me off (that would be that last one from the list if you're being daft) comes EVERY SINGLE DAY. I don't remember giving out mails to unsafe sites or organizations... but obviously I was wrong. Somewhere along the line, between the single-recipient correspondence 4 years back to the "n-th" time I emptied that SPAM box yesterday, my email address must've passed hands and ended up at one of the dreaded SPAM headquarters. I can picture it now.. 

The "Leeds Spam Headquarters" in bold, hovering effortlessly overhead thanks to the virtual power of cyberspace; behold, the entrance to all your troubles (spam-wise). If there were a root of all evil (besides money and possibly the odd devil), it's probably planted firmly somewhere in this vicinity. Upon stepping foot in it, an arm swoops down to your face, asking incessantly for your mailing address. If you manage to make it to the receptionist without compromising your spam-free inboxes, consider yourself lucky. Or else, don't be surprised to be inundated with junkmail the next day; these people are quite the efficient type.

OH but the tour is not over yet! At the desk, there'd probably be a list of pings to connect you to the regional head office of your favourite virus, spyware and adware suppliers. If your walk into the manufacturing rooms, you would find out that production goes on inexplicably. Spam flying off in every direction.. the never-ending flow of SPAM out the pigeon holes to their doomed recipients. 

BURN IT DOWN! Burn the whole friggin cyber lot down!!!!

WHat? I don't care if fire doesn't work in cyberspace! Just destroy it!

Unfortunately, it is not that simple. In case anyone's wondering, the foregone conclusion is that we will have to live with SPAM for the rest of our lives. 

Unless of course, one takes the precautionary measure to protect one's mail account from everyone by keeping it to oneself. 

HHmm, I wonder what's the flaw in this line of thought.

(Hint: what's the purpose of having an email account again?)

Priorities

Instead of pandering to the fun and entertaining side of me, I have decided to tentatively fall behind the lines of "live life to the MAX!!!" and concentrate on having no life. As I said, this is not permanent. It is subjected to change (and I fully expect that to happen).

"Why so foolish, you daft person you??"

Well, for starters, I want to concentrate more on the matters that matter.

Which means less time joining club activities (BOTH types, if you catch my drift).

I apologize for the lack of updates... the 1st time in months (because it just ticks me off when a fellow blogger finds an excuse to apologize in EVERY FRIGGIN post). This is not without good reason. 

*sigh*... Alright, I'm off to make myself believe that the library is my second home and that sundays are meant to be spent at home.

Gibberish or senseful stuff? Hhmm...

I forgot my keys again. Not that I expected myself to use them as I didn't know that I'd spend that much time at my neighbour's.

I miss feeling useful to myself. Not in the physical or practical sense... This leans more on a vague wall of what appears to be uncertainty but is actually coal for my archaic train engine.

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I'm particularly fond of food for thought now. That sense of familiarity which brings me back to the old mind would calm and assuage this craving. If that doesn't make any sense, you know that you're finally going to get some more posts from me that are similar in the nature of its style but may vary in context... but i digress.

Once inundated with questions, suggestions and the most precariously baseless faith in romanticism, we're now practically down to practical practicality (oh, gotta hate that word). Read: day-to-day planning. That sounds good from the outside. It would sound wonderful from the inside too if it didn't take my soul away.

Yes, I've changed the way I run my life, PROBABLY because I didn't have a choice. 

And NO, I'm not turning into an insomniac. Tonight's just special. I experienced an epiphany. A realization of hope for this blighter that might come in handy as he paves the path ahead. 

I don't want to stray from that path towards greener pastures.. Not yet; not while the essence of the walk I'm taking seems clear to me right now.

Vagueness is in its sheath for the day (or.. more strictly speaking, night). It was my blade to push these unwanted emotions back... to make them take a detour before reaching their destination. It's dumb, wielding it about. As if it possesses superior magical powers and that goodness and love would manifest themselves in front of these weary eyes right upon every swipe or prod. I don't want to search and scan and squint for you anymore, and yet here I am. What you owe me: Trip and chocolate bar. :)

I thank Ellen for her contribution in the molding of what I must call an inspirational piece of art. Page's good.

You know, blogging seems more like a private session with myself, to improve my Intrapersonal communication skills (a.k.a. skills in talking to oneself).

Toodleloo!

Missing home already??

Barely 10 minutes ago, a familiar setting drifted into my mind: Blinds drawn, windows parted, humid air, sun's ablazing.. Then that warm voice calling from the floor below. What was astonishing was that I even thought that I was- as usual- late for class.

Alas, the thought did not hold. Like water cupped in my hands, they slipped away through the tiny gaps of my fingers, through the slits of reality. I awoke from my slumber, emotions astir.

And now, I realize another horrible truth- I don't have a picture of home!!!

ptthh...

Then I think of the shithole my country's in... and what it's gonna take for her to crawl out. 

The polarization doesn't restrict itself within the borders; it transcends oceans and continental fringes. Isn't very comforting, is it?

The fact that there's practically nothing we can do makes it worse.

Not.

You've still got to believe and do your part, even if you're just the Tree in a Romeo and Juliet play.

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On a sidenote, I  bought PLANTS! Doreen the Cyclamen and Fraiser the cactus. I figured that I might as well get something to put on my previously VERY EMPTY and depressing windowsill while keeping me occupied sometimes. OR, there's always that option of attempting active communication with them. 

Like that guy who built the Sound Machine. Who got his machine crushed.

In a way, I can relate to that, seeing as to how my machines always end up surrendering to their own premature self-destructive fate.

While I go ponder on ways to prolong my gadgets' lifespans over a cup of tea at 6.30 in the morning, I wish for the betterment of my country and common sense to prevail.

Scarborough Trip

YEaap, I got my wish. 

MORE SUNSHINE! :P

Both in Leeds and Scarborough- "famous seaside holiday destination in the UK since 400 years ago". At least, that's what the brochure says.

The trip to Scarborough left me pretty much satisfied. Here are some photos:

Post from the UK

Recap of journey:

• flight delayed by 2 hours,


• 5 hours of excitement sizzled into 8 hours of fidgety development of claustrophobia and high altitude sniffles.


• Big Australian dude beside me gets a headache and covers his head and body in one remarkable effort with the MAS blanket.


• Long (predominantly from India) queue in front of Immigration checkpoint


• Intimitating plump chinese lady with british accent at immigration counter


• Relief, as the final hurdle is crossed


• New bus ticket


• Friendly British people.


• Friendli-er bus driver (who pronounces "rain" as either wain or lain. I can't decide.)


• Young woman lost her slipper on bus.


• 5 hour bus ride, 5 minute taxi ride, and I find myself at the apartment


• Greeted by groggy-looking housemate. Who would blame him, especially if someone pops in at 5am in the morning.

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So far, the week's been good to me. I need more sunshine though.

I was waiting for myself to take more photos.. but that didn't materialize, did it?

Oh well.... 

crap. 

Anyways, I got stuck in front of the comp playing an addictive comp game. BAAHhh.. shouldn't have installed it!!! 

Gotta wake up at 7 tmr... going to open my bank account at Lloyds with housemate.

Sweet goodbye

I'm finally at the end of this visa-induced rollercoaster ride. Thank heavens for that. 
I wish I never have to go through the whole episode again.


On a different cloud, I've been saying lots of "goodbye"s lately. 
Thoughts?

What makes a perfect goodbye message?

Brevity,

Simplicity.


Some people go to lengths in order to give a well planned speech of sorts. (come on larh.. -.-)

I say, just go with the flow. There's no skill in this. All you've gotta do is to say goodbye like you mean it (because you mean it).

Anyway...

This guy is leaving the motherland, family, friends and its people for the land of Fish and Chips in less than 24 hours. 

What is the objective of this knowledge expedition if not for the pursuit of that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Believe it or not, the mainstay of this adventure lies not in the pot of gold- elusive or not-, but in the pursuit itself. :)

Note: Last night is reserved for family only.

Bon Voyage!

6G Class of 2000

Two nights ago, I had a reunion with 6G classmates of 2000, Lick Hung. It was like watching a really old episode of Friends (saaaay, when Rachel and Ross aren’t going out with each other yet). Before the meeting, expectations weren’t that high on my side as I’ve heard many accounts of not-so-successful, or downright FAILURES of gatherings. Fortunately, the reunion turned out fairly good, with the highest attendance since... well, since school! I do not know how it feels to be in the middle of one of those horrible reunion stories where awkwardness and cockiness rule the day; and hopefully, I won’t have to find out.

Sigh* primary education...*Picture a coffee table overlooking the lush mountains. Some birds are chirping, an eagle’s distant cry reaches the ears. A strand of hair flipping in the wind while I bite on a cigar, book in hand, and then the impassive expression widens into a smile, as if the memory itself evoked a mild sense of resent but then turned into sweet tastes of heaven: Behind the barrage of canes, strict rules, “lu jun zhuang” a.k.a. army haircut and homework by the 10s (daily!), I do recall more fun and joy, Ah Niu songs, sharing of innocent encounters (save for *EHEM* someone), battle of the sexes, knowledge gained, and not to forget the stories some teachers like to tell us. What ever happened to Ms Mary Ng?

All I can say is that the school put us through a baptism of fire of sorts to which we will forever be grateful.

Comment on photos: EH, why the 1st photo got some random girl's head inside!

2nd one: Ian displays his killer si-si posing skills.

Predeparture Recollections

Quiwan is 5; the year 1992 doesn’t seem to matter as much as 1991 because he still remembers the little trials that he’s overcome: Understanding that he doesn’t have artistic talents, understanding that his handwriting needs to be improved, but he shrugs it off, thinking that it will “grow” better as he ages. He questions the need for him to rewrite a new year at the tail end of dates scribbled on his CEC kindergarten exercise book as he forgets every now and then that it is already 92, not 91. “Why do we even BOTHER to try remember the dates when we’re going to use a new one the next year!?” he frustrates.

He is riding behind his cousin in the estates near his grandparents’ house. Although the constant fear of getting his legs scraped by the paddles or wheel of the bicycle beneath him still haunts him secretly, he enjoys his ride on the backseat with the wind force full on his face and adrenaline pumping through his veins. They stop in front of a shabby wooden shack that gives him the shivers. They’re cycling away.
A fall. He sees his sister, seated behind his other cousin take a fall. He hears his name being called, Quiwan, won’t you come help your sister? He doesn't know what to do, but it doesn't matter. Quiwan is 7.. or 8. 

He is nervous as he’s never had more than 5 friends over to his house. This would be his first birthday party with friends from school. There were only two girls because of his inhibition, especially when it comes to the opposite sex. Little did he know that it is this weakness that would shape his life for another 8 years or so. It was getting kind of awkward until Y.Ian bangs his head on the sliding door. OUCH. Laughter. Quiwan knows it must’ve hurt; despite so, a smile etches across his face.

Quiwan is drained... his dog is gone. He throws a tantrum. Amid the bitter taste of betrayal by the figures he respected and loved the most, he does a stupid thing with a knife. No, he doesn’t HURT himself lar.. Ish, what’re you thinking. (he just threatens to do so). In retrospect, that must be one of the stupidest thing I’ve done... I wasn’t even taking responsibility for the dog. It deserves to have a better owner. I deserved it.
Scars, though, have a mind of their own. Despite my admission, the scars do tingle in burning sensations from time to time.

Quiwan is walking in the rain, in single file together with his teammates. “Angels’ wing’s” Baah.. I’ve really gotta thank the guy who made it so difficult for us by coming up with this mouthful of a name what with its ‘s’es and apostrophes in BOTH words. The split was gradual and expected. Soon, there was the slightly more formidable team with Mr. F in charge while I chose the other. Friends what... besides, I possessed neither the skills nor the brawn to squiggle my way into that other team even if that is my desire at all.
He skims through his feelings for the team and the passion for football and adventure that brought him out on this “away” game at Jing Wu school, against an unknown opposition. The team travels by train, and upon disembarking, soaks themselves in the downpour while walking along the patchy road. He trudges on with surprisingly high morale. Many minutes later, under the thick blanket of rain, their vision clearly hindered, a decision is made to play despite unforgiving weather- the game mUSt go on. Besides, they didn’t travel all the way there to sit by the field and sip tea. Match ends in a stalemate initially, then they lose out to their opponents (I think.. need confirmation) after penalties.It is not ALL bad, the team won their first penalty shootout in the school league with goalkeeper Chung Wei making the decisive save.

He is on his first date. A litany of bright shining stars are above him on that clear night but he barely acknowledges their beauty. He is only occupied with the person opposite him. Glowing there in front of him, she must be the most gorgeous living thing on earth. He is filled to the brim with affection for her... to heed her every word, to gain her trust and to give her all he can for her to be his forever is all he wants and can do. Quiwan finds puppy love. (A little late as compared to others). He is almost 19. 

He knows that the one before her was just infatuation. An act spurred on by the desperation to find someone to be with while all around him lovebirds’ wings aflutter. He knows it was a mistake. But THIS one.. It can’t be a mistake, not her. He knows many things that she doesn’t want to admit. He knows that he’s ruining everything by doing so. In the end, she probably did more of the ruining than him. The predicted result (from a non-partisan point of view) was right.
Quiwan slumps through the doors of heartbreak hotel.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sometimes, it seems more like a dream than a genuine fragment from my memory when I recall these mini adventures. The way they begin abruptly and stop similarly so does not help with my recollections either... but all’s well. I’m assured that they ARE true albeit only by faith and a subtle sense of guidance from my instinct.

It’s beginning to hit me. (About TIME!)
I’m going to leave home for a whole year. I will be away from my family, from my culture, from all the friends, food and familiar nuances that make up our daily routines. 

But hey, some sacrifices in the form of comfort and familiarity have to be made in order to pursue your dream. A dream is not merely our mind’s wistful display of work, but the most powerful non-physical force one may ever possess (besides that telepathic superpower which has yet to be discovered of course :P).

Dreams are meant to be pursued, just as rules are meant to be broken. Likewise, clauses do apply for the former as it does for the latter. Come on, no one goes around breaking rules when it makes sense not to; similarly, a dream, it cannot be idiotic. (E.g. building a gamma ray gun to kill your neighbour’s dog for disturbing your beauty sleep). I mean, it can even be illogical, such as building a time machine.. or even constructing an alien tracking device. Fact is, there’s a very fine line between dreams and indulgences in daydreams ala fantasies.

HHmm, btw, if anyone's wondering, I've finally started packing. Pretty hard to meet the weight limit of just 20kgs when you have so much to bring!! (plus 5 for handcarry).

On a final note, good luck to those who are leaving to go overseas soon. :) For those whom I'll miss at home, Quiwan wishes you ALL the best!

Qw goes environmental

I had one hell of a dream last night. It held in view humankind- at its worst. Insanity was apparent everywhere. People were killing each other and the world was falling apart around me while I tried to focus on my destination (although I really can't remember what or where it was). People were shooting each other as society descended into full-fledged anarchy.

Hmm.. I wonder if reading a story that goes along the lines of "nuclear warfare-induced chaos with the end of the line in sight for us humans" has something to do with it?

"Hey, I'd give a penny for my own thoughts, would you?" [typo error here fixed :P]

Despite ongoing action taken to save our world, the picture that is our future still remains grim. Efforts from the powers that be are feeble at best. I don't know much about the EXACT danger of us ruining the earth within decades, or how much people are exaggerating global warming (If at all, it's exaggerated). Honestly, I believe the people that are mouthing "GLOBAL WARMING is REAL" everyday. Why?? Because it's more palpable and most of all, it makes sense. Look at the way we're dealing with our waste, look at dwindling of our forests on your way back to your Kampung, look at the change in weather patterns, look at our soaring temperatures... I actually feel ashamed that after reading G.W. naysayers' columns/comments, I thought, for some time, that they might be telling the truth. 

You don't go around walking under the sun only to find out that you're getting skin cancer in the 1950s now, do you?

In our local scene, the recently announced budge 08/09 looks pretty glossy on the cover, what with all the goodies especially in the going green aspect for transportation. Public transportation has to be improved, yes. What about the cars?? My Environmental Engineering lecturer has this habit of playing this mantra of saving the environment day in, day out, (for obvious reasons). I remember him telling us about the laughable effort of our Proton in announcing (somewhere in May or June) that they will start development on a more fuel-efficient car. 

"What BULL, if the government knows better, they'd start by stopping foolish, useless projects like THESE and start pulling together a good plan in order to develop our own alternative-energy powered car! *sigh* the only hope for us lies with the Japanese as they are the best in Asia in terms of technology and manufacturing strength. THey are the ones we can hope for to start rolling electric cars off the belts like how China is doing with toys. (80% of the childhood toys in my store room has "Made in China" behind it) Why not the US, you may ask? Of course they have the technology, but why aren't they mass producing? Well, only because their political leaders rely too heavily on oil companies for funding and they can't afford to tread on the wrong foot."

I have to admit that this isn't a very accurate quote of my lecturer.. and the main points do present itself rather more rough and uncompromising than what I remember. Still, what matters is that the important points are there.

Now, though, we have a glimmer of hope. Or do we?

They are saying that incentives will be given to foreign car companies to import electric cars until we can produce our own. And just yesterday, I read from the news that affordable electric cars are going to be rolling out in a couple of years time. I confess that I find this a little hard to believe. Some say that the government are just giving sweet candy talk to appease the people.

Well I say, optimistically speaking, who cares what motive the government hides behind the curtains? As long as they deliver the goods and start giving us affordable electric cars soon, I don't. ;)