The wrong end of the rainbow

People always talk about finding a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but all I can see at the end of this rainbow is one big lecture from mum and dad,
a depressing day of collecting my results, and one heavy guilty burden I have to carry for the rest of the year. I've set myself a target for next sem. And if I don't achieve it. It will go one step further in showing that I'm useless as a student. The only way I can stop all these, the only way to step up against all the adversities I face is to prove what I'm worth. I haven't gone this far (literally: Nilai isn't exactly the capital of the world) to give up just because of one semesters screw-up.
You don't have to tell me that I shouldn't jump to conclusions as the results aren't out yet, cause I know, I sat for all 3 lousy papers after all. I know what's coming and I'm gonna face it head on.

I can blame this on the inability to settle properly into campus life; I can point fingers at my group of friends; I can put the blame on the lecturer. But to be realistic,
I might as well admit that all of this was my own wrongdoing.
It was MY screw-up. I've made a mess out of things before and actually got out of it. It's time for that again. Wish me luck.
One more exam. Drawing.
It has come to this, has it? I'm gonna bank on my fucking drawing skills to save my sorry ass. The time for repent is now Quiwan, now.