When it comes to relationships and family, I know better than to blurt it all out for the average web-browsing Joe to see.
Some things, you just can't bring yourself to tell your friends. What happened to the closest emotional outlet you had? You ask.
Only she knows.
Then there's the branch from that large (Oak? Cengal?) tree of which I represent. Do I really have to move towards the sun? No, I forgot, that's the leaves' job. Oh wait a sec, I have this vague recollection that branches ARE bent towards that ball of fire too... even if they're made of hardwood.
Then again,
Why bother? When the winds gust, there's nothing we can do but to sway and turn where it wants us to turn. Swaying, growing, coming to that complete halt. Dying.
Is it not true that we only THINK we are free, when in some cases, a slight nudge of fate is the only deciding factor.
Sometimes, I wonder if I made the right choice. For what am I to do now? Now that I've immersed myself in this icky pot of goo. So what about the future? Same pot of goo?
Even she doesn't know.
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I am sad when the seeds of jealousy is planted inside
and the little nuances of life slips into a shade of green.
I am frustrated when the plant pushes its roots,
into my skin they dig
as the wonder that is life is distorted
through the beholder's eyepiece.
I am hopeless when the bud sprouts its first leaf of hatred
that eats into the core of your heart
poisons the bloodstream
til all that is left is nothing
but a grey misty patch
of what used to be
the blossoms of springtime.
Jealousy- the monster of all monsters.
Quiwan's too.
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