The old and new

Last Saturday was the final visit to the House of Joy, Puchong- a semester-long activity named "Leo Mission" organized by Inti's Leo Club- in which I bade my final farewells amid smiles, handshakes and well-wishes to all the little (and not-so-little) children who, in one way or another, have no privilege of enjoying the family warmth the lot of us have. Most had to watch their home pillars crumble right before their eyes. From the times we spent there tutoring those kids the past 2 months, I've learnt that unfortunate or not, we all share the same responsibilities to ourselves- to path out each of our own future. Instead of ruing the petty bruises or losses we've suffered due to forces beyond our control, our sights must be set forward, over the hills of uncertainty and yonder... towards a better future for ourselves and the people that we love.

I didn't take any photos with any of them. Somehow, I see it more apt if snapshot memories are etched forever in the mind (in this case) rather than on a piece of photograph that would in the passing of time reduce itself to a mere item, losing out in the battle of attic mementoes amongst the boxes and boxes of accumulated history. Besides, memories that are able to be kept in there *points to head* will definitely be more treasured and also rated higher in sentimental value.

Apologies for allowing myself get carried away with that..
Returning to last week:
I travelled home from Puchong for one last weekend at home before gearing up for the finals scheduled to begin on the coming monday. Upon reaching, I felt a sense of longing- strangely- for the house of old that used to give me that immense sense of belonging. I don't know why I felt so because it STILL DOES give me that warmth of feeling at home. I think what I felt was more towards yearning of the entire feeling that was living permanently at home... not moving to and fro from hostel to home, home to hostel...

I've done an estimation and concluded that (including the semester breaks and weekends at home) the time I had spent at home as compared to the hostel room since January 2007 is at a ratio of 1:3.5. Meaning, for every 1 day spent at home, I've spent 3.5 days at the hostel.
This is still a very generous estimation. If you ask me, I'd rather spend a whole semester away from home than returning home every week or two to see how life adapts gradually and goes on without me. It's like I'm returning home to see progress of the way time can... little by little.. erode away my presence at home. The feeling sucks.
Well, to think that of this is going to change once I fly off in September... *soft chortle*.
This reminds me of that adage: "Be careful what you wish for, cus it might just come true"- of which Mr M never fails to remind us.
Then again, there's the contradicting one that Ms Sabrina, out of her experience, told us which is never to proclaim publicly a firm stand against something by using "Never" in its sentence, for chances are that you would probably do that exact thing you had once disapproved.

Superstitious affairs aside, I shall continue last weekend's homecoming experience...
Finally, I spent a night sleeping in my new bedroom. It was a relatively foreign feeling that rushed through me as I typed my EIA case-study report and lay on the bed that night. It was akin to staying over at a temporary rented apartment or, even a hotel room. (My bro received an open invitation- which he accepted readily- to sleep by my side that night.. btw, it's quite hard to believe that he will be in a secondary school starting next year*sigh*)

It took me no time to imagine myself staying in that room and the decorations to make it more homely: Posters I'm going to put up on this and that side of the room, the flower pot can be suitably placed on the table beside the window, my tortoise can move into the room with me, a new bookshelf to house my humble collection of books (including a specially allotted space for all my college notes), another small casing to house all the memorabilia.. -Halt-

That list of room-improvement would have to wait.
And wait it shall,
til the day I return from my dream-pursuing escapade. Who knows how long that'll take. I'm not a person who'd roll out a detailed step-by-step plan of the future; I'm more of the type who draws the path's gateway, dot out the rough boundaries of ambitioned achievements at the end and leave the roads in the middle to be drawn out as I move towards my aim. I admit that this is a far throw away from being "safe" and "well-planned"... but I guess finally, I have a chance to fulfil the dream of roaming free.
Anyways, I'm perhaps a little selfish, hogging the room to myself when I can give it to my bro.. but hey, he will have his own room too. He can do whatever he wants to the room that used to be ours. :P.

"Out with the old, and in with the new."

As cliché as this may sound,

life is short, change is, as I've said so many times before, inevitable. Taking those two into consideration, in order for us to move with the flow in the spirit of experiencing elements of our wondrous life there are sacrifices to be made. Namely, the capitulation of youth and the surrender of familiarity in exchange for novel surges in favour of revolutions at different levels: In your own archaic beliefs, as an improvement for your family without compromising the true values of a family unit, as a positive step forward for your country for the betterment of the world.

Some say that in order for the new to "enter" your life, you have to give up the old.
I say, give up the old but hold it ever so close to your heart, for the beatings of life doesn't just include the present, but encompasses also the bygones and future. What you are today is a compilation of your past, present and, in the sense of the direction you're guiding your life, future.