As things stand, I'm well on track to waste all my efforts to get here, chuck my parents' hard-earned money into the bin and drag myself through the rest of my life as the wandering garbage man (no offence garbagemen... I respect your profession even MORE than that scumbag who accused me of being rude by being rude himself). As I was saying, all signs point to the self-destruction and demise of my education career.
That is... if I don't ring the alarm bells.
What makes me "tick", as Sylar would say, is the usual competition and that undiluted need to prove myself to well, myself! So as long as the bells start striking a mild sense of panic into the core, everything will start falling into place as the push for excellence resumes. One might argue that to achieve the level of excellence parallel to that of any individual in the upper echelons of society, a person should not only possess fortitude that will allow him/her to adapt to changes, but also be able to use time management as a tool against his/her fellow adversaries.
True, yet no one tells us how to do so... Is it even possible to alter the way an individual goes about ones daily life? If it is, I'm pretty sure that his character will go with him. Perhaps, that is the sacrifice that we all have to make.. a choice that is inevitable for each of us. Take "swapping my messy room for an organized lifestyle" as an example. Seems to be all good on paper eh? What about when it's "Giving away the way a part that defines who I am to give in to the way other people want me to live", hmm, you start to think twice. OK, maybe I'm being stubborn and naive... but changing isn't as easy as it sounds.
It always seems to me as if the whole improvement thing is just someone's machination to strip me of my own identity.
Anywho, I've come to the conclusion that I should not shun advice and abhor criticisms, but instead, accept them gracefully (as I sometimes, but not always do). To do so, I have to start thinking of reshaping the whole cycle of "how-things-work" in the Quiwan encyclopedia to adapt to a lifestyle that is fit for a responsible high-achiever.
Not raising hopes too high here.. Unintentionally, I realized just 10 seconds ago that this would be more than suitable for a new list of 2009 resolutions. I admit that although I do sometimes sketch up a draft of new year resolutions list in the past, never have I actually pushed it through to the point of acknowledging that they are more than a negligible set of sign posts. Notice that they weren't even guidelines but signs telling me of the "right" directions. This time around though, I have decided to list a proper list and look to them as guidelines (or even more?).
On the pending list now would be things pertaining to:
- Blog posts- more frequent, less moody
- Workload- deal with it before it's too late
- Friends- more effort to have fun with friends of all categories and less time dwelling on grievances
Just a few things I have to look into.
Now, did I mention that I've been sleeping at 4 and waking up at 1pm this week. It's the weather. I blame winter for making me sleep 9 hours per day for the past 5 days. The downside of getting loads of sleep and waking up at 1 is that I don't really have much time to see the beautiful yellow orb, the source of all energy (unless you are too ultra-religious). I believe that if we get more exposure to the sun, the more energy bonus you receive. It'd kinda be like Ultraman, wouldn't it? For those who are scratching their heads, Ultraman is the superhero with that funny fin-like thing on his head, who flies to close to the sun to absorb energy when he's almost defeated and all "DEE-doo-DEE-doo-DEE-doo"-ish (sound coming from the light in the middle of his chest).
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