Ever had that strange feeling when you're near a fan that is spinning ferociously just inches away from your face? The feeling that comes in tandem with the muffled voice in your head that shouts for you to exemplify stupidity *of the highest order* as Mr M would add. (It just fascinates me that he's so attached to that phrase. I guess every one of us have phrases that we (somtimes unknowingly) "adopt" as our own favourite tagline to brandish whenever an opportunity arises. I find that reasons ranging from "thinking that this would sound cool" to "I just like the sound of it" are usually behind all this tag-line business.)
Crap, got sidetracked there.
Anyways, the muffled voice would tell you to do something stupid by, say... inching your hands towards the fast-rotating vanes in the attempt to finally feel what it's like to get intimate with a fan that's turned on.. Ohhh. it's gonna be quick AND nasty, not to mention messy too.
Sexual connotations aside, I usually let the train of thoughts run its course, ending with a slight flinch at the end when the picture of a fingerless hand/Handless arm comes to mind.
Then I wonder to myself, how often do people get their hands chopped off by a fan? Not often enough i suppose... since you don't see them appearing in newspapers. Heck, they are such a non-threat that children books teaching them about the dangers at home wouldn't even bother to mention it.
Another situation that bugs me is that when you're up on a multistory building and there's this balcony at the end. You lean on the balcony and look down. You feel (at least just a wee bit) intimidated by the height if you lean too much right? Well, I tend to go the extra mile by thinking about the eventualities that would unfold if I just push myself over. Picture the frightening fall... and..
*steps back from the balcony*
Weird huh?
Fortunately, this doesn't happen when my mind is preoccupied. which is usually the case these days.
No need to speak to a shrink vis-a-vis my mental health.
Common sense prevails (most of the time).
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One day later...
I'm quite tired of bickering with people. Especially Big Mouth whose conviction is that every single fly has to be debated because it isn't the way things work in BM's world. No, really, he comes to a hair's breadth away from being categorized as an all-out bigot sometimes.
I tried a different approach- blending into the background. Not as effective as expected.
I'm not denying that what we do is fun.
...and stupid.
So when that concoction of emotions get bottled up like that, the product at the end of this equation ain't gonna look pretty. Most of the time, what comes out is actually a diluted wad of the original version generated in the head. It stings, even me, when the words are uttered.
Thing is, the ebb and flow of matters concerning this isn't one that gives the observer much chance of determining a pattern.
Okok, I'm not so far ahead myself. I may not be a high-nosed big-head, but constantly worrying about being one is mighty taxing. This, coming for someone who just chopped some weight off his head. Yes, I'm botak again. And I still find myself agitated or even fearing what others might think of me. What makes it worse is that I actually oppose to being an easily influenced empty head.
It makes you wonder what other calamities would strike next.
Anyways, to BM's credit, he pays his compensation through other channels, redeeming himself with values of open mindedness and honesty(despite it being point-blank).
Arguing is considerably entertaining when you're bored out of your minds and cobwebs are literally renting space in your head; it's not at all fun when you're strained.
For reasons that elude me, I am strained. Strained because of the pressure to perform
and because I finally made up my mind to go through the doorway that's been open for quite a while.
The door holds the key (go figure >.<). It's the entrance to a new room, wet paint and all... where space is in abundance.
It is also the exit, an escape from the clutches of whatever that's been holding me prisoner in my own dreamland, a chance to set myself free, finally.
Taking the plunge can be a little scary.
You just got to tell yourself that it's all in the head.. deformed or not.
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